Messages For Boys and Young Men to Consider
© 2023 Adults Saving Kids
- Sexual desire is a very strong urge, it only seems to be an overpowering urge. The so-called “sex industry” operates on the principle that if anyone can be brought to focus only on desire, on sexual feelings, proving oneself a viral man ready to satisfy those desires, much money can be made.
- Each man has situations come up in life where a man can turn off his mind and forget his faith and calling and just follow his natural sexual desire hoping no major negative consequences will develop. Some men like Joseph actually remembered God (Genesis 39:9,10) and count the cost of following their desires and decide to take measures which would keep them from further involvement. Jesus put severe statements in front of us to get us to think before using and harming others. (Matt 18:5-7).
- There is a lot of talk about masculinity that would suggest that being sexual whenever the opportunity presents itself is a sign of manliness. Many men will use this to shame other men or confuse them. Self-control, respect for others, long term consequences are overlooked. The conversation revolves around being a stud or scoring. The fallacy of this argument becomes most apparent when one thinks, of one’s own sister or mother as being the person who would be used. Is it so important to “prove” myself that I need to use someone? Many women are available but have they been molested or trafficked?
- One can get into places or with groups where there seems to be nothing to do but go along with the crowd. Do I want to be there and what can I do to avoid these situations?
- There are Christian young men who actively go to strip clubs or download pornography from the Internet. They argue this is okay. What they have believed is the messages of the sex industry. What they haven’t noticed is what has happened before in the lives of those they are using and what people in the background are slyly making money off their behavior by arranging for their “entertainment”?
- There is a real possibility of developing habits when young which cannot be easily turned off and which will result in much agony later. Especially these habits can affect a marriage relationship and a father’s relationship to his children. So these are serious life issues.
- An abused young woman may very often be promiscuous or available for money. She is often not aware of how the previous trauma has affected her. One possibility is to respect her even though she might not respect herself at this point of time, she can be seen as a person of God like Jesus saw the cheating tax collector Zacchaeus as a child of God. (Lk: 19:1f).
- Like quicksand, the sex industry pulls us gently into a world we are not ready for and which seems at first so alluring. The harm it can cause is not immediately apparent. When we are anxious or depressed, it is an easy world to turn to. Jesus asks us to be wise, even shrewd and think about outcomes before stepping in. He understands our normal human inclinations will lead us down a wide path towards immediate gratification and long-term self-destructiveness.
- As with young women, many young men are also vulnerable. Fear, taunts, bullying, confusion drive them to follow others. Some are harassed, abused, raped, put down, bullied or objects of derision. This can lead them to situations of trying to make it on their own in a scary world. To keep going they may feel forced to sell themselves. Shame and lack of options may keep them doing something they never expected. Chemicals may lessen the pain but also drive them to keep doing what they never intended. Look for solid, caring support first. There is good help even if one is caught in a trap.